this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
