Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
