And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We are all done wearing pants today
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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