The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
