:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
