I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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