I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
