I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
