Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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