Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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