I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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