I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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