Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize