Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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