why didn't you poke me back
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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