Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
