there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
