Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
