I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
