Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
