real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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