How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were destined to go to rehab together
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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