My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
