Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize