Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
