my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
