you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
