That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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