do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
