wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
