Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize