OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
