I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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