I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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