Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Terrible idea I love it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
