I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
