If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
