I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
