My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
