Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
