i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
