I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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