I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think your dad took our porno
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
