I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
