doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
