sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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