His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
