I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
