if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
