When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
