i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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