bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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