I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
