I want to make a zoo with you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
