we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
