where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
