I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
