I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
