STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
