I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
