hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
