Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and she was petting her beer can
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
